Nursing Voices

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Evil Children

This is Damien Thorn. He is a charter from the movie, Omen II. It’s a horror classic. Many of the teenagers on our unit remind me of Damien. They are evil children. I took care of my first Damien-like patient about twenty years ago, and I was shocked when I found out that the boy had hit his parents and destroyed their home. I couldn’t believe it. My parents would have knocked me into the next state if I had raised a hand to them, and this kid was still walking around making demands of the nursing staff, and of his parents. Feeling like I was living in the Twilight Zone, I went home and talked to my children after work. I asked them, “What would happen to you if you hit Mommy?” My three year old just stared at me, and my five year old laughed nervously while she sat on the couch. They asked me if I was asking a trick question. I told them about what I saw at work, and then repeated my question. My five year old finally answered, “You’d kill us.” Then I asked them, “When did you first know that you aren’t allowed to hit me?” My daughters thought a moment, and then the youngest said in a tiny little voice, “Forever.”

My mother sent me this. It’s an ad from the Des Moines Register. I bet this kid doesn’t hit his parents. People, you have to teach your children that you are the boss, and they need to start learning that lesson shortly after leaving the womb. Please, don’t come to me whining that your kid is out of control when you let them get that way in the first place. Children seek limits, and they will act out until you finally have to put your foot down, or until the police come to your house and drag your kid off to jail.


Blogger poody said...

I hear ya. I do not have kids but I do think that when they quit letting kids got licks from the teachers at school it sent a message to kids everywhere that they could get away with anything. I know as a kid growing up I didn't do a lot of things for fear of getting a whipping at home. And god forbid I ever get licks at school because believe me there would be more of the same at home! Yes, we all lived in fear of the belt or flyswat or whatever weapon they used. Was it too much? At the time if you had asked me I would have given you a resounding yes! But, knowing what I know now, I have to say if they act up beat 'em! LOL! As my mom used to say "you better act like you got some sense"that and " I will give you something to cry about!"

11:31 AM  
Blogger Smalltown RN said...

I hear you....children do need to learn boundaries and accountability etc...and where should they learn that? Of course from their is our responsibility as parents to teach our children these important life skills....I don't buy the out of control child thing. I had a very challenging middle daughter who pushed the limits all the time...but there were alway consequences for her actions and she knew as a young adult, she is responsible and accountable has a job and goals....did I as her parent have anything to do with bet....I taught her about life skills ....

2:19 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Learning right and wrong is a fundamental principal.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

You know, I agree with this - but I can't agree with poody's contention that it's the lack of beating that makes children so awful. I don't beat my children beyond the VERY occasional swat on the behind. This is primarily because I grew up terrified of my father, who used to physically discipline my brother and myself frequently. I don't want my children to be terrified of me - I want them to respect me and follow the rules of our household and polite societal behavior. Regardless of their lack of 'lickings' I have very well behaved 4 year old twins. I frequently receive comments from perfect strangers about how well they behave when we are out to eat, at stores, etc. My approach has been to be CONSISTENT which is what's missing from many households these days. The consequences for misbehaving are the same when we're in public as they are at home, and my children know that. I really believe consistency is the key to this - I set limits, and if my children cross them, they receive consequences every time.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Amrita said...

Clap...clap...clap. I am cheering for you Mother Jones for saying this.

Most kids who are out of control were not taught their limits.In my family too and their parents are just giving in to their demands.

One nearly 5 yr. old plotted the murder of his 13 yr old cousin sister right in front of us on the living room couch.He talked about the various methods of extermination...he hates her.And the mother said well, he watches too much Telly.

The iron hand that rocks the cradle with (with love) rules the world.

10:08 PM  
Blogger MadMike said...

Yes! Yes! Yes! MJ I am going to steal this entire post and post it on my blog on Monday. Naturally you will be attributed. I hope you don't mind. As a former cop I feel very strongly about this.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Doc's Girl said...

Amen. :) I always tell Jason when we talk about future children, "I'm going to be an evil mommy!" :-P :-P

6:34 PM  
Blogger CaptainCarrot said...

Jennifer, there are many kids who never received much in the way of beatings when they were kids because they didn't deserve them. And it's people like your father who gave rise to the mistaken notion that any corporal punishment whatsoever was tantamount to child abuse.

You're fortunate to have two kids who don't need it. The problem is that most kids who do need it these days don't get it.

Consistency is, of course, of utmost importance, but to be consistent in discipline there must be discipline present in the first place.

6:35 PM  
Blogger shrimplate said...

It is always wrong to hit a child.


To claim otherwise is woefully ignorant.

3:59 PM  

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