Nursing Voices

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Eyes in the Back of My Head

Meet Nancy Nurse. She’s going to let you in on a little secret. Nancy is counting the number of eyes that a nurse has in the back of his or her head. It's true, and those extra eyes come in handy when we are working with drug addicts.

Last weekend, a family dumped off one of their own at our emergency room. This family drove over three hours to get to our hospital, and according to witnesses, they literally tossed their family member out of the car, and peeled rubber out of the parking lot. They obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore, and it didn’t take me long to understand why they didn’t want her back. I knew that I was going to be in for a rough weekend when the nurse reporting off to me said that she “hated the patient and wanted to punch her in the face.” This statement caught me off guard because this nurse usually has the patience of Mother Teresa, and since our doctor is a pussy about ordering Haldol, I resigned myself to the fact that my entire weekend was going to suck. And, as promised, the next two shifts played havoc with my blood pressure.

My patient hated me. She had a thing about limits and hearing the word, “no.” She hated me even more when she found out that I have eyes in the back of my head. I caught her climbing over the desk at the nurses station during a psychiatric emergency on our unit. I walked in on her while she was rifling through a coworker’s purse. She took a swing at me, and called me old, fat, and ugly. Ouch! She wasn’t too happy when I put her in locked seclusion.

During my report to the oncoming shift, I told the night nurse that I hated the patient and wanted to punch her in the face. So much for emulating Mother Teresa.


Blogger artillerywifecq said...

wow! i should have sent you my ER's favorite patient of the weekend, they could have been room mates. This wench showed up outside patient drop off and began banging on the assistance needed buzzer. Then she procedded to scream about how she couldn't breath. Yes, screaming! So we quickly triaged her and set her up in a room with some O2. The real story, she couldn't sleep and just wanted us to prescribe her some sleeping medication. Someone had told her that SOB would get you right in, and it did, but 5 hours later we finally discharged her after making sure she got no sleep and 2 sleeping pills. She was rude and hatful the whole time, wanted us to get her family 20 sodas and food.

6:17 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

Here's to hoping I don't get struck down by lightening, but I really believe that even Mother Teresa probably wanted to punch some people sometimes.

Even Jesus tipped the tables of the money-changers.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Braden said...

whoops, I meant lightning, although my wife is pregnant, so I may get struck down by lightening as well.

7:57 PM  
Blogger WardBunny said...

Being Mother Teresa is over rated! You keep kicking backsides over there... sounds like they deserve it!

7:59 PM  
Blogger Awake In Rochester said...

I've never been fond of behavioral patients. I could never do what you do. I think that Mother Teresa would give you an award of some kind if she were still alive. ;o)

4:27 PM  
Blogger distracted by shiny objects said...

Mother Theresa Schmereesa. The REAL question to be answered is What Would Nurse Ratched Do? (WWNRD--bumoer stickers and bracelets soon to follow). I think we all know that she'd be slicing and dicing with only the movement of her eyes. She was that good.

9:46 PM  
Blogger distracted by shiny objects said...

...BUMPER stickers.....

9:47 PM  
Blogger Dean said...

"What Would Nurse Ratched Do?" sounds like a good idea for a new regular feature to me. ;)

4:48 PM  
Blogger Alexis said...

::happy sigh:: you always find the best illustrations for your posts..... I love the angry woman cartoon. love it.

11:13 PM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

I always thought it was teachers who had eyes in the back of their head... which would explain my disciplinary record throughout school.

Congratulations on not giving into your impulses. That restores you to Mother Teresa status....

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We knew what Nurse Ratched did in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". wink

4:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home