Nursing Voices

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Love and the Perfect Woman

In today’s installment of the Perfect Woman, we will discuss Dr. Melendy’s ideas about love, courtship, and marriage.

According to Dr. Melendy, falling in love, courtship, and wedlock are the most important events in a young maiden’s life. Love makes the world go round, and she sternly warns women that if they are not “pure at heart,” they will become an old maid. An old maid is a single gal over the age of 21. In preparation for marriage, Dr. Melendy tells women to look into their souls and rid themselves of unrealistic expectations, such as being happy after the wedding. She said that marriage is about sacrifice and duty, and that it has little to do with happiness.

Here’s how everything was suppose to work. During the courtship, a young maiden was to be coy, and unassuming. The man was to be dashing and respectful. Dr. Melendy describes courtship as the voyage of discovery. During the engagement period the young maiden was to gather items for her new home and make plans for the wedding. The man, again, was to be dashing and respectful. After the wedding a young maiden, now a wife, was to be obedient and empty-headed, and the man was to rule his spouse. Dr. Melendy said women were meant to suffer because Eve screwed up in the Garden of Eden. Gee, thanks Eve.

Dr. Melendy said that marriage would keep a woman safe as long and she knew her place and didn’t rock the boat. She told women never to ridicule their husband if he came home late at night smelling of alcohol. She said that men work hard during the day and that they deserve to go out with the boys, and with the ladies, whenever they want to unwind. Dr. Melendy also said that if a man was a savage, it was the woman’s place to tame the beast. If the man remained a beast, it was because the woman wasn’t properly doing her job. Dr. Melendy wrote, “Kindness and love is the chief glory of woman—it is, indeed, her true prerogative—her scepter and her crown. It is the sword with which she conquers and the charm with which she captivates.” Personally, I would prefer conquering a womanizing husband with a cast iron skillet.

Dr. Melendy said that a good wife gives herself to her husband whenever he wants sex. She said that it’s a wife’s duty even though virtuous women do not enjoy sex. If a woman enjoys sex too much, she’s a slut. She tells readers love isn’t found in a physical union, and that the wife shouldn’t expect too much from her husband. Dr. Melendy said that women shouldn’t look for pleasure in the bedroom. She told women to look for pleasure in little tasks and duties, which when added together make a grand total of human happiness.

In the final installment, we will discuss Dr. Melendy’s ideas on how to have the perfect pregnancy.


Blogger Iris said... first marriage was only a shade better than what was described there, and that is only because he left.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Gerbil said...

I think Dr. Melendy had some unresolved relationship issues of her own. There's no ego defense quite as powerful as normalizing your own problems!

3:16 PM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

I can post again! (Couldn't comment on any non-beta sites this morning at all).

Long delayed comment:Isn't "dashing and respectful" a start?

Hardly worth waiting for, was it?

But how does Dr. Melendy squre the transformation of the male pre-marriage from "dashing and respectful" to the brute who can go out with the boys... or the girls... and be a savage after the vows were spoken?

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a wonder any woman agreed to marry knowing she was doomed for so little marital bliss. Too bad your previous post about medicating your way to happiness wasn't an option for these women. I would have wanted some good strong meds to cope.


3:44 PM  
Blogger poody said...

Was Dr. Melendy a married woman?? Just wondering. OMG I forgot to get married and have babies!!Could it be that is my perogative???Oh and I guess well no I know I am a slut because I like to do it!! LOLBy the way, anyone know a dashing and respectful man out there I can date??

4:01 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

OMG, I must have missed something earlier on, because I've just realised that Dr Melendy is.....a woman!!!! Obviously, she doesn't subscribe to her own theories, or she is unmarried. How else could she be the educated, forthright woman that she appears to be, with such fabulous insights. I wonder what her father was like...and her mother....

5:21 PM  
Blogger Juliette said...

There we go, I'm an old maid... I guess all I have to do now is patiently wait for death while knitting. Does Dr. Melendy have any avdice on how old maids should waste (sorry use) their time?

As for the perfect pregancy, I suppose it starts with the holy spirit impreganting the woman. Right?

6:08 PM  
Blogger howling said...

"She told women to look for pleasure in little tasks and duties, which when added together make a grand total of human happiness."

i read somewhere that one of them sad, sad women who found pleasure in little tasks, ie: iron clothes, cook dinner, stumbled upon a brilliant idea one day and formed a company called "Agent Provocateur" where she enlisted a group of smart birds with toff accents and designed some risqué racy lingeries and toys named after rabbits.

7:42 PM  
Blogger RX850 said...

I just KNEW that the cast iron skillet was good for something other than cooking!

8:14 PM  
Blogger JustCallMeJo said...

I know that for me, dusting the baseboards is better than orgasms any day.

3:22 AM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

Hey Jo,

Maybe that's why Martha Stewart always looks so happy. Housework, it's a GOOD thing.

Curmudgeon, I don't know how a respectful man can turn into a savage, but it does happen. In the beginning, a man who abuses his wife/girlfirend is very charming. Later, he shows his true colors.

Poody: Yes, the good doctor was married and she had 7 children. Go figure. And yes, I know a very dashing a respective man, but he's taken. He's my husband:-)

Juliette: The good doctor has some interesting ideas about where babies come from. I'll start working on that post soon.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let a man start hitting on me and go out with other women. Yeah, right. The first time he hit me would be the LAST time he hit me!

5:09 PM  

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