Nursing Voices

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Medical Pulp Fiction



I know a place where nurses are nymphomaniacs. They work in shady places, wearing tight, white wiggle dressing, and exposing their voluptuous breasts to power hungry doctors. The doctors are lecherous womanizers who are healers by day and adulterers by night. They exploit women to fulfill their savage desires. These are the men and women of medical pulp fiction.

So, did I get your attention?

I’m not like those people who buy Playboy Magazine just for "the articles." I buy these books because I like to look at the vamp-laced artwork on the book covers. Here are some books I just picked for the family book collection.



Mon Dieu! What’s going on here?
Where’s the nurse, and why isn’t this patient properly draped? This doctor obviously has poor professional boundaries because “his patients tempt him too much.”

"3 Women and a French Doctor:

Magoune, a promiscuous young farm wife, has her leg in a cast, yet she is still a provocative woman.

Kitty, a beautiful English adventuress, insists that giving her “pleasure” is the only cure for her pain. (As a side note, I’m sure the HMOs would endorse this type of therapy if they thought it would save them money).

Elise is a lonesome French widow. The Doctor’s massage treatments awaken feelings she could not control!

Does a doctor remain purely professional in his patients’ boudoirs? Here is the highly sophisticated, shockingly frank story of what went on behind the closed doors of a handsome French Doctor’s consultation room.”

Note to self: Keep all hot-blooded, female patients away from French doctors who make rounds wearing a loud, kiwi green suit.


Nurse! Don’t you know it's unprofessional to parade around a doctor’s office dressed like a trollop? You certainly have the doctor’s attention. I also see you’re thinking about what happened last night after office hours instead of tending to your patients.

“His arms enfolded her as she burst into tears. His face was gray and haggard. ‘Christie, listen to me. Don’t’ you see we can’t go on like this, being together, wanting each other so damnably, without taking each other. There’s not much future in that.’ ‘It’s the only future I want, Ross,’ she told him huskily when she had controlled her tears. ‘I want to belong to you, Ross. I want to be yours completely any time and all the time. If we can’t be married for a while it doesn’t matter…Ross, I love you. I’ll never love anyone else…Never! Never!’ Recklessly, Christie offered her gorgeous, fresh young beauty to the man she loved, knowing it was all she had. A young nurse in the employ of a cynical, world-weary doctor, she knew from experience that only passion could hold a man who lived as this doctor did, pampered by women!”

What would Florence Nightingale think?




I know I've shared this book before, but I can't help showing it again.

Exposed!

“A doctor and a nurse embraced in the dusky shadows of the gray walled room, their bodies entwined, their lips pressed together. Suddenly there were footsteps in the corridor….somebody opened the door and turned on the light….


Hospital Doctor takes you into the private world of doctors and mistresses, nurses and lovers—an amazing world of heroes and heels who are tempted by pretty faces and a craving for cash.

From the incisive pen of a surgeon himself comes the shocking truth behind many of the operations performed annually which lead to mayhem and manslaughter; the startling expose of underpaid interns and ruthless physicians who resort to shameless practices and character assassination in their ambitious quests for fame and money.”

Oh please, nurses don’t have time to go to the bathroom, let alone time to play "doctor" with a doctor. See the nurse in the doorway. She’s telling her coworker that she better get back to the unit because all of her patients are on their call light, wanting pain medication.


I wonder how our naughty nurse is able to keep her cap from falling off while she's making out with her boyfriend.

77 Comments:

Blogger Manusmriti said...

Do such cases exist in real life? I've had nurses in my life whom I think to be good guides with lots of practical knwledge about not just their profession, but the world outside their so called world called "hospital." Your blog inspired a writer in me who's not just a professional, but an honest writer too.
Manu.
http://manusmriti.rediffblogs.com
http://jawaab.blogspot.com
http:.//creativefactory.blogspot.com

7:57 AM  
Blogger scalpel said...

"Oh please, nurses don’t have time to go to the bathroom, let alone time to play "doctor" with a doctor. See the nurse in the doorway. She’s telling her coworker that she better get back to the unit because all of her patients are on their call light, wanting pain medication."

One more reason for better staffing ratios. ;-]

8:50 AM  
Blogger LisaRitaRN said...

I 2nd better staffing ratios. Nice blog! Will visit often. Thanks for the one about the intern rules. Changing jobs on Monday after being at a poorly managed hospital and will experience teaching hospital again. Lots of reading material here however, do you think you have a book regarding doctors who make work difficult for you if you don't give in to their "Advances"? I'm not talking medical advances either. Or try and give you money? I am NOT a prostitute damn it!
Anyways, again, thanks for the good reads=) I'll visit often=D

9:05 AM  
Blogger Swanny said...

I had a good belly laugh over your blog. Just thought I would tell you so.
Thanks!

9:29 AM  
Blogger Gill said...

Do you have any books where the male doctors dress as nurses and if so can I borrow them?

10:47 AM  
Blogger The_SRV said...

Good Read.

I enjoy your blog.

-Steven G. Erickson a.k.a. blogger Vikingas

[bleephole political activist to others]

10:54 AM  
Blogger The_SRV said...

additional note:

I am a novice screenplay writer. Please file me a way and contact me if you would like to collaborate one day.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Susan Palwick said...

LOL! Great post! You should turn this into an article for a nursing magazine; the readers would probably love it.

12:17 PM  
Blogger R2K said...

Is it ratched or ratchet?

12:34 PM  
Blogger Free Ads Team said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Student Nurse Jack said...

Let me know if you find a book with a hotly-clad student nurse so I can get a good laugh. Our asexual uniform scrubs, our required "out of the face" hair styles, combined with the fact we're too tired to have or care about having sex pretty much sets the stage for a boring read, but I'm sure someone could do something absurd with it.

Just found your blog and added it to my bookmarks today. Love it!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Warren said...

enjoyed your writing. thanks very much for doing it.
warren

3:11 PM  
Blogger nordicbitch and texass said...

These books are hysterical! I am seriously tempted to go out and buy them too. Your blog is great,I really like it.

3:26 PM  
Blogger SoOverU said...

Nice blog! So interesting!

http://tryingtogetoveryouasshole.blogspot.com/

3:38 PM  
Blogger 45thpercent said...

This blog is really good, I'm new to this game, I can see the kind of standard to aim for now. I've just started at uni so if I meet some student nurses I'll ask them if things are really like that!

4:06 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

That post is a hoot, and I worked in a hospital for several years so I know your last couple of paragraphs are the real story.

Visiting hours must be open right now, because several of your visitors seem to be wandering over my way, where they are most welcome. I'll leave the light on over the front door for them :o)

Have a great weekend!
Andrew ("To Love, Honor and Dismay")

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

New, so new!

7:31 PM  
Blogger nicola six said...

meow, pussy likes, prrrrr.
mmmm, sexy nurses, grrrrr.

7:42 PM  
Blogger TheTundraPA said...

Hey, congrats! Your blog was just listed on Blogger's front page under "Blogs of Note"! Loved this post...

9:02 PM  
Blogger This, That and the Brother said...

i like to think of those books as mini autobiographies...

9:48 PM  
Blogger Dancing on the ceiling said...

I am laughing my head off! I've always considered these medical soap opera stories to be real eye-rollers, and you've really done them justice in this entry. Thank you for such a hilarious read. I love your work!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Bhagwad Jal Park said...

These of course play up to the popular doctor-nurse fantasies. Stuff like this hardly happens in real life

1:11 AM  
Blogger b o o said...

staple-gun

2:13 AM  
Blogger Cute Indian Girl said...

Congratulation on Being the "Blog of Note"

You deserve it! Keep up the Good work.


I blog on Every Day Space and
Work At Home.

2:27 AM  
Blogger 竹剑 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Marcy Clarence said...

I've been in the medical profession for over 10 years and have found it to be the most promiscuous profession out there. At the hospitals nurses are always hooking up with doctors and there are some really crazy parties. Its a free for all. Here's a great website full of helpful tips that I just found Great articles at mdwholesale.com

2:49 AM  
Blogger aSpEcT said...

wow.its the shade .its the shade , the killing ...I dont gatther that entire reluctant feeling of the above phrase when , i went through the blog . i REAlly liked the blog . tooo much . how the postmodetrnism is exstracted from the bow of thoughts and feelings . Some olgas may say , the dream thought is annexed away from " hospital" but , hospital is hospital.But feelings are never dunlooped in the ed,ego and superego, they are expressed.
What the part thing may appear but its dearly a part to read such a nice blog .

keep it on lady.

one of ur admiror
wikalp

4:56 AM  
Anonymous miss ellie said...

Mother Jones~
Your note to self about the French doctor making rounds in the loud, kiwi green suit just about made me spit out my Diet Coke. I love your blog, especially the pulp fiction covers and critiques.

Sorry, Marcy, but the most promiscuous profession out there is the oldest profession out there! And let's not forget politicians, either!

And, FreeAds ... no visits to her site? Puh-leeze!

Aspect ... WTF???!!

Keep up the great work, Mother Jones!

5:01 AM  
Blogger BKW said...

u blog is great!!
i write abt luxury thing

visit: Lx8.blogspot.com

5:54 AM  
Blogger yolyquero said...

i just discovered your blog and really enjoyed it... i'll keep visiting...

7:18 AM  
Blogger Eileen North said...

RAF doctors believe wives are there to be exploited. Unfortunately they are most certainly not funny.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blog

8:31 AM  
Blogger Lola2020 said...

If only....we would never leave work , would we? Well...I wouldn't!

9:36 AM  
Blogger mad muthas said...

and they say there's a recruitment crisis in the health service! why, oh why, when it's obviously nothing but carnal delight from morning to night?

9:36 AM  
Blogger moonlight said...

Congratulation on being the "Blog of Note". Good Read,enjoyed your writing. thanks very much .

10:30 AM  
Blogger chikashi said...

Hello,nice to meet to you.
My name is Chikashi Munakata.
It is interesting blog.

I am making a site introducing blogs of all over the earth.

If you can ,Can I introduce your blog on my site?

I hope many views can get infomations and make good relationship on your site.

info@tabigo.net

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11:32 AM  
Blogger Amie Barnett said...

Hello? Bobby pins!

12:28 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I'm in school for nursing and I really appreciated the book covers, hopefully I will be one of them one day;)

1:02 PM  
Blogger The Angry Medic said...

finally, a medical Blog of Note! bout time too.

heh. makes me think of all the Medical Romance books in the discount section of the railway station bookstore. wish real doctors and nurses looked half as good as they did on those covers. maybe then it wouldn't be so miserable being in medicine.

1:20 PM  
Blogger fool2cr said...

yes, you certainly did get my attention!

enjoyed the read, and am impressed the quality of your following.

i'll be back..

3:39 PM  
Anonymous CHIQUEIRO said...

I love you blog and the stories about nurses!!Florence is great person who walk in this planet...you know:-))

Bye, bye

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nurse Ratched: I'm not a doctor. But I've played them in TV commercials. So let me know if any vacancies occurr! LMAO!!!!

5:07 PM  
Blogger The Desert Man said...

I too enjoyed your blog. I also work in the health care industry. My blog is about exploring my thoughts and feelings around professionalism and sexuality
I would enjoy hearing anything you have to share with me after reading a little.
It is not as refined as yours, but I am working on it...

6:05 PM  
Blogger Lady_T said...

Haha! I love your writing style. Funny blog! Keep up the great 'nurse behind closed doors' stories :)

6:33 PM  
Blogger nurse mama said...

Those books look hilarious. Love the covers; I am going to have to track some of those down. In one of the old bathrooms of my college, there is a first aid kit on the wall that has a 50's-style nurse wagging her finger and the message "Safety First!" or something similar. I'm glad nurses don't have to wear outfits like that anymore...

7:01 PM  
Blogger tammyswofford said...

Your blog insults nurses and is absolutely disgusting. My guess is you are a person who wanted to be a nurse and flunked basic chemistry twice so took up an easier major instead.

Tammy Swofford, RN, BSN
Alumni, University Texas at Arlington

8:09 PM  
Blogger Amie Barnett said...

Tammy seems to have petri dish stuck up her ass. Must make it hard to do her rounds properly. Jeez.

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the interesting thing is how those pulp fictions are all from 50 years ago but you don't see them today anymore. In the old days, the workplace was still a "safe" meat market for meeting others with similar interests.

Nowadays, I guess you have bars and the internet?

11:40 PM  
Blogger adam said...

I need a Nurse in my Blogroll!!--a Doctor in the House!, as it were. My Sister's an RN..but her rants aren't worth a plug nickel.

Enjoy you, very much. Those books look like fine diversionary reading..I know your blog was just that for me, tonight.

Thank you,

xx, adam.

[I mean it. I put you in my links. Hope you don't mind. I'll be back--I hope.]

12:07 AM  
Anonymous Clint said...

y compliments on your blog. To get it more widely noticed, grab your copy of
"Links Explode" at: http://cmurdock.atspace.com/TrafficSystem

12:24 AM  
Blogger Joshua Beran said...

I noticed that "French Doctor" was translated from "the French." How many self-referential titles are there
in French fiction anyway?

12:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good article

6:35 AM  
Blogger 文BIU said...

呵呵,有点意思.看的不是很懂,看来我的英文还不是很好啊

7:53 AM  
Blogger Adam LaVey said...

Ah yeah, I always had some kind subconscious nurse fetish. I didn't really realize that until I was fascinated with this article. Thanks for adding another strange hang-up to my already growing collection.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Yasamin said...

those are great book covers!!! and i giggled the entire time i read this! if my doctor ever tried to pull something like that i probably would have wrote him a prescription for Viagra and walked out laughing.

ps ever hear the song Teenage Anema Nurse? *giggles* hadn't thought of that in years.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Zeynep Ankara said...

Hello,
I am new here, just looking around...
Zeynep.

11:05 AM  
Blogger Forty_Two said...

Remember the 30 year old who killed himself when Nurse Ratched threatened to tell his mother? That was my mother.

11:25 AM  
Blogger poody said...

As a nurse I can tell you this sort of thing happens all the time. I had to get out of the hospital for just this thing. Of course now that I di home health it is just as bad. The Drs. come to the patients homes where they see my heaving bosom and they tear at my clothes with passionate abandon!

12:33 PM  
Blogger poody said...

P.S. sounds like Ms. Swafford needs to schedule a colonoscopy to get that stick out of her ass!

12:35 PM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

"I wonder how our naughty nurse is able to keep her cap from falling off while she's making out with her boyfriend."

I dunno. Bobbie pins?

2:26 PM  
Blogger Drew You Too said...

Interesting site, just happened across it while surfing blogs and thought I would say hi. I also wanted to pass on some information that is relevant for anyone who has a Social Security Number. Please visit http://drewyoutoo.blogspot.com and read the post entitled "It could happen to you" because it could happen to you. Take care.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

Hi,
Congrats on being "A Blog of Note"! 63 comments! It's easy to see why. I work in healthcare in Australia, and it's so comforting (not) see to that it's the same the world over......I hope you don't mind, but I bookmarked the page with nurse Cindy on it as my daughter's name is on it too (ie, 'Eloise').
Keep writing; you have another fan, oh and my daughter is reading you too, so I guess that's 2 fans!

5:42 PM  
Blogger John Harvey said...

Well done Nurse Ratched. You've been added to my blogroll.

6:27 PM  
Blogger The Moy said...

Actually, FRENCH DOCTOR sounds like a lot of its plot points were borrowed from a terrific 1940s French film, LE CORBEAU. It has a scene a lot like the one on the cover.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Calabar Gal said...

Well, I like to think or rather hope that these situations dont exist in the modern world or sixck patients wouldnt be attended to that much due to the randy activities of our doctors & nurses.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Ghost Particle said...

ahhh...fame and comments.

Nice blog.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Lea said...

The next time I am in need of medical attention, I will first make sure that Tammy Swafford, RN, BSN, Alumni University Texas at Arlington is not in the building.

3:07 PM  
Blogger ~Autumn said...

Ol' Flo had to of had a little on the side back in the day. She deserved it for all the hard work she put into nursing! LOL

6:16 PM  
Blogger ozchic_9 said...

After 12hrs of wiping bums, emptying urinals, cleaning up vomit, giving injections, removing dentures, avoiding flying sputum digging maggots out of a wound (yes it happened once)and giving suppositories...trust me...nothing is sexy about being a nurse. Love your blog!
http://myhottamale.blogspot.com/

1:52 PM  
Blogger Health said...

More, please visit http://www.35wyq.com

4:19 AM  
Blogger Health said...

More, please visit http://www.35wyq.com

4:19 AM  
Blogger Joby said...

Congrats being a blog note, and ofcourse you are really worth for it

Indian Girls

1:51 AM  
Anonymous David Harmon said...

meta-comment: Lots' of ad-spammers infestingthis thread, beginning with Marcy Clarence.

My bet is most doctor/nurse affairs represent the more realistic case of overworked, over-stressed, and together far too long. But of course, erotica in general is not known for being realistic!

"Eye-rollers" are the norm, and I've seen stuff like sex positions which are physically implausible, or even failure to keep track of previously mentioned body parts.... ;-)

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Ayisha said...

nice site for more books I have some more gifts..



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12:52 AM  
Blogger Ayisha said...

nice site for more books I have some more gifts..



Reference books

Books

Kitaben

books

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4:17 AM  

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