Nursing Voices

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Email From Mother: The Living Will

It's important to have a living will. Just ask Maxine.

I, MAXINE, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass a ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Margarita
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Mexican food
French fries
Pizza
Ice cream
Sex


It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.

8 Comments:

Blogger naughty said...

MJ,
Totally dead on. My dear mother in law just spent 6 months at the "best" nursing home in our great metropolis (at a mere 8k a month) and every time I visited, it left me craving that much more for a bullet to the forehead. When our "generation" comes of age, I wonder if we will accept/embrace the prolongation of life or if we will opt out.

3:51 PM  
Blogger david mcmahon said...

Wonderful!

4:09 PM  
Blogger NurseExec said...

I've always been a Maxine fan--great post. Me? I'm gonna jump off a high bridge at the first signs of dementia, do a couple of triple flips, and call it a day :D

6:51 PM  
Blogger Katie Bee RN said...

That is too funny.

9:12 AM  
Blogger mojitogirl said...

I am investing in 2 tattoos, one over each breast (not UNDER, because I suspect gravity will occlude their view by then). One will say NO over one boob and the other will say CODE over the other boob. Is that clear enough for EVERYBODY?

10:29 AM  
Blogger Forty_Two said...

I have no boobs to tattoo.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Rogue Medic said...

While I would change some of the particulars, this does a good job of explaining what quality of life means to her. Something that we seem to ignore with all of the DNR, DNAR, DNH, . . . documentation.

As clear as the documentation is, there are still people who violate it and go unpunished.

12:41 AM  
Blogger Sarah Stewart said...

Just found your blog and am loving it. Loved the list although I would probably put 'sex' above 'cream gravy'. best wishes, Sarah (midwife from down under)

11:44 PM  

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