Nursing Voices

Friday, July 18, 2008

Google Hospital

Hospital administrators all over the country are trying to figure out how to keep their nurses happy. Some are even hiring expensive consulting firms in order to find out what's on our mind. People, this isn’t rocket science. All you have to do is ask. Personally, I think that the nursing shortage would resolve itself overnight if Google started running hospitals.

Imagine a chair like this at the nurses station. Google takes the welfare of its employees seriously. This decompression (stress) capsule is impermeable to sound and light. I can see myself crawling into one of these chairs when I’m stressed out. Sorry everyone, I’m taking a timeout.

Does your back hurt after transferring patients in and out of bed all day long? Google’s employee health department has the answer to your aches and pains. Professional masseurs, also known as eusses, are available to help Google employees get through their day.

I hate waiting to get on a crowded elevator, especially when it’s lunchtime. Look at this young lady entering the Google cafeteria. Google installed slides and fire poles, allowing employees to get around in a flash. Google serves good food, too. Employees can eat all they want from a vast choice of food and drink.

This is my favorite goodie from Google. These are private cabins where employees can attend to personal affairs. No more sneaking off to make personal phone calls. Some people might suggest that Google's way of doing business would never work in a hospital. Google is different. After all, what kind of people enjoy working in an office building that looks like the inside of a big plastic gerbil cage? On the other hand, maybe that's why Google would be good at running hospitals. Nurses are accustom to being treated like rodents by hospital administrators, so we would naturally feel at home within our new working environment.

I know that Google loves nurses. A couple of years ago, they chose Nurse Ratched's Place a as a Blog of Note.

I wonder if Google is looking for a nurse blogger.


Blogger Shel said...

I want to work for Google too. I just had a meeting with MY boss about leaving alone at midnight. He suggests pepper spray. Grrrr...

5:44 PM  
Blogger Evil HR Lady said...

Forget a slide at work; I want one in my house!

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have read things about Google and the fantastic treatment of their employees. It goes far beyond what you mention.

Why are hospital hiring consultants to tell them what nurses want? Spend that money on a few of those chairs for us.

Ooops.... if we sit down for ten minutes and things get slow, we are told to head home. Taking breaks is frowned upon, if it is beyond the lunch break. Our hospital culture does not support allowing any oasis of stress-free time away from the bedside.

Has anyone seen one hospital with a "reading library" for the nurses where they can take their breaks away from the small lunch room next to the bathroom with the flushing toilet, next to the nurses station within voice range of the latest doctor? Hmmmm.


7:35 PM  
Blogger Albinoblackbear said...

Is that decompression chair for real?? If so, where can I obtain one?

Wow. I'd be so happy if I could pop into one of those whenever I needed to...

Wait...I'd be happy if I could pee at work whenever I needed to. Maybe I'll set my standards a little lower and see what happens. =P

3:15 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I want to work for Google!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Medic2RN said...

I think the nursing shortage would get better if administration would hire RNs without demands. I am a new grad who wants to work 24-36 hrs a week per diem. They only want to hire me full time, which I cannot do. I know they will be putting a lot of their time into me to train me, but I will be giving them a lot of hours per week in return after training.

I am trying not to get frustrated, but it is not exactly working.

7:03 PM  
Blogger mojitogirl said...


11:49 AM  
Blogger jkeys100 said...

Awesome Blog Nurse Rachet! and I too love Google. Did you know they have a log of every thing every one has ever searched on?

My only problem with Google is that whenever you google nurse, pops up. I find it to me a money making machine run by very heavy handed moderators. But that's a subject for another time.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Gretch said...

Are these for real??? Can we get some for us teachers in the public schools? Google for president!

4:52 AM  
Blogger Barbara Kivowitz said...

These should be standard features of all environments where helping professionals work. They also provide healthy, gourmet meals and dry cleaning.

6:31 PM  
Blogger bernadette said...

i have come to the conclusion that the 3 bald, fat, white dudes who count up those EOW surveys & the other myriad of survey/questionnaire/crappolla devices aimed @ what makes us tick...
are just bullshit artists.
but what really gets me so pissed off.... my stupervisor
gets a BONU$ if we all comply and the fill the little puppies out.
now THAT frosts me...
but... that's ok.. i can do a 3 second triage..BWAAAAHHHHAAHHHA.

12:40 PM  

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