Nursing Voices

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Cap Me!

I know that some of you think that the old-fashioned capping ceremony is corny, but I feel bad that some of you have never gotten to experience the thrill of getting your cap or pin, so I wanted to share this picture with you. Yep, that’s me many moons ago. How do I look? Of course, other than the gray hair, the extra pounds, the wrinkles, and the sagging body parts , I look the same today as I did on the night that I received my cap. Hey, don’t challenge my delusional system unless you can replace it with something better. I wonder what score Kim from Emergiblog would give my cap based on the Emergiblog Cap Rating Scale. By the way, did you know that we used Lubrafax to glue our stripes onto our caps?


I received this email from my mother and I wanted to pass it on to you. It’s cute. Don’t write these entries at work:

Charting Bloopers
(Actual writings from hospital charts):

1. The patient refused a autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

14 Comments:

Blogger Lea said...

Those made me laugh and I'm not even a nurse!

I love your photo, MJ.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous gypsygrrl said...

that photo is awesome, MJ!
where i went to college for my non-nursing undergrad, we had a Nursing Dedication Ceremony - and it was lovely. there were candles lit, and the nursing student pledged their lives to the vocation of nursing. it was very powerful. i went to one, because two of my roommates were nursing students. the school i am going to still does the capping/pinning, and it will be exciting for me to go thru it. :)

guess i have to get IN first.
*tapping foot*
*IMpatiently waiting for acceptance letter* (due any day between now and early may)

11:17 AM  
Anonymous gypsygrrl said...

PS - recently a nurse at work came tumbling into my lab with laughter... the chart she looked at for her new patient she was picking up for the night shift read:

Funeral Pending.

(uuuh. arent all our funerals pending?)

11:19 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

A great list there; very funny!

3:12 PM  
Blogger Shrinked Immaculate said...

That was vry funny

9:16 AM  
Blogger poody said...

I love the photo and the charting is so funny. We use hand held computers to chart in the field. Once when I was still getting used to them and before we could edit. I charted that the patient told me she was not going back to see the Dr about her wound on her foot. She was afraid of having her foot amputated. But what I charted was pt. states she is not going back to the Dr "all he wants to do is cum on me" Amazing what one little letter can change huh?

10:56 AM  
Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

Circus sized, eh?

These are great. Thanks.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Hey!!!!! That's a 10/10 if I've ever seen one! LOL! What a great photo!!!

11:10 PM  
Blogger scalpel said...

I love it!

9:21 AM  
Blogger ~RN Faye said...

My favorite: The patient refused an autopsy.
I graduated in 1999 from the last Diploma program in my city. I was indeed capped, and it was quite the experience for sure..but I am thankful that I am not wearing it.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

circus sized? ha ha ha ha

smiles, bee

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Ten out of Ten said...

I bet some of those are courtesy of the transcriptionist.

I dictate my ED notes, and read over them before electronically signing them.

It's amazing what gets typed sometimes.

3:11 PM  
Blogger TC said...

I love #8. God, I know therapists and/or psychiatrists like that.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Tunic said...

I'm a first year nursing student, one of our tutors cited several entries from this list the other week to illustrate the importance of written communication skills in nursing practice... :)

7:44 PM  

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