Nursing Voices

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Email From Mother: The Banister of Life

My mother sent this to me the other day. Maxine is my role model. I wonder if she is a retired nurse.

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, remember:

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called .... "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink...and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...
The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning...
One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

8. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

9. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

10. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.


Blogger shrtstormtrooper said...

I've heard the banister comment before...and it never fails to make me smile!

11:49 PM  
Blogger Elaine said...

Thank you for the giggle!

3:47 AM  
Blogger Mike Pringle said...

That was good. I may use a few of those myself.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

LOL! Yeah my kitchen would look like that, too.

2:10 PM  
Blogger License Pending said...

OMG! #7. My (now ex) husband would only take out the trash. If I asked him to do anything else he would pout and yell "You're not gonna be happy until I'm doin' everything around here."

10:52 PM  
Blogger Neumed said...

I just noticed you added me to your blogroll. Always a pleasant surprise when that happens. Thank you very much.

Also wanted to say, very funny post. I especially liked #3.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Pete said...

Hope you don't mind, but I'll have to send this to 'The usual crew'.

It is Sunday morning here in the UK after all.


4:20 AM  
Blogger Adrienne Zurub said...

LOL! LOL! LOL! Thanks for capping off my day!

5:15 PM  
Blogger Amrita said...

wish my mum had your mum 's sense of humour...she has none

11:25 AM  

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